Horoscopes from the Hood
Compiled by: Ny’Stacia Hechavarria
Aries – You gon’ rob a whole bank tomorrow, but sadly you gon’ get caught. Anyways, your lawyer got that “charm” that gone have the judge give you 0 to life.
Taurus – You boutta be in jail by next week, and you ain’t even last ‘cause you soft. Better have ya mama number on speed dial.
Gemini – When you get your tax money, you gone have a good week.
Cancer – Your man boutta surprise you with some new bundles of weave, but you gon find out it’s fake. Best advice is break up with him since he wanna be cheap.
Leo – Tonight boutta be a good night for you, ‘cause 200 dollars boutta hit that EBT account!
Virgo – You finna get your money up big time.
Libra – You smart, so you gone have some smart kids.
Scorpio – Your grades in school ain’t all that, but you smart too.
Sagittarius – You got the same thing as an Aries.
Capricorn – I ain’t no fortune teller, but I see love ya in future. Stay loyal.
Aquarius – Somebody gone call you up with some good news today.
Pisces – When I was in elementary school, I use to spell Pieces as Pisces. Anyway, you gone have a good week.